The 17 Analytical Perceptions Of Mother’s Boy
Why is the husband called Mama’s boy? Why is the mom such a center of distraction in some marriages? Is it right for a husband to get attached to the mother rather than the wife? What comes to mind when people talk about Mama’s boy, Mummy’s boy, or Mother’s boy? What do these terminologies even mean? So many questions?
In this article, we are going to take a deeper look at why the mother at times is too close to the adult life of her adult son. We shall consider and explore every known perception as regards mommy’s boy in the “17 Analytical Perceptions of mother’s boy.” We aim to help young mothers and aspiring ones to do better in developing healthy relationships with their sons and daughters-in-law. Please, buckle your seat belts as we start.
First of all, let’s make clear what the terminologies stand for. These terminologies are used when an adult male has an unbalanced and improper dependence on the mother for life, whether economic or social. Of course, the idea is derogatory for the man who normally should be economically independent and emotionally sound, but depends on his mother for everything life demands or throws at him, even to the detriment of his wife.
Although this article is for informational and educational purposes, and to enhance parental-children-relationships, we do not support being disrespectful to parents, we honor them (Ephesians 6:2). In addition, we should always consider the context before judging. At times, the mom can be right if the son marries a bad wife. At other times, she can be wrong woefully if she is a notorious troublemaker. Because in some cases the wife can be the troublemaker, which the mother sees and tries to correct or protect her son from impending damages. A wife with such character cannot be tolerated and the advice of the mom must be taken seriously.
Now, the first of the 17 Analytical Perceptions of mother’s boy is:
1. The Failed Motherhood Perception
This perception sounds harsh but real. However, some tribes perceive the mother’s position as having failed if the mother controls the Son to neglect the wife. They considered that the mother had not brought up the Son to live as an independent adult. Neither has she prepared her for marriage. Marriage is for adults. The wife should be prioritized and not the mother.
2. The Wrong Position Of Influence Perception
The mother whose firm grip is on the life of her married son does not understand her position of influence in that family. She lacks the knowledge that the nuclear family comes first and foremost. In a home, first comes the husband and his wife before anyone else. The mother can always influence the Son and daughter-in-law positively from outside the nuclear bond between her son and his wife. Truly speaking, mothers should know their place in the children’s family, which is the back seat. When a mother oversteps her child’s marriage, she should be cautioned with love.
3. The Royalty Perception
Some mothers from affluent families and royal families do meddle in the union of their sons and daughters in order to keep or follow existing protocols which have been for ages. The Megan-Harry issue that we all heard about gives an idea of what the royal demands and how they can meddle in the marital problems of the princes and princesses. This can happen as recorded in the annals of the king which they love to keep that way.
4. The Lack Of Love Perception
This perception holds the mother as selfish in the love space between her son’s wife and daughter-in-law. Love must always lead, first and foremost. A husband who is too close to his mother to the detriment of the wife is not led by love either. He should protect his wife more than anyone and then respect others too as his family. Similarly, the mother who consciously does this isn’t led by love (1 John 4:7).
5. The Immature Perception.
Firstly, Mature men don’t put priorities over people against others. Secondly, they practically and emotionally set examples of how their homes must or mustn’t be run. These are for boys, not men. If a woman does it to her married son’s family, it accentuates, even more, the fact that the son wasn’t brought up properly, and is immature. And if the son keeps running to the mother for ways to run his own home, that son, as we’ve just said above, isn’t mature enough for marriage.
6. The Past Mistake Correction Perception
It’s believed that some mothers work hard to make up for the errors they made as youths. Mothers are trying to correct what they missed or failed at during their youthful marriage in the life of their children, which is wrong. They should let them be and, maybe, give a counsel only when sought.
7. The Entitlement Perception
Mothers, because they suffer in raising their children, have this entitlement mentality towards the marriage of their children. That too is incorrect. Parents should not see their children as their retirement plans. They must let them be. Raising children is a responsibility for every parent without expecting any reward from them. When there’s, fine and if not, let them live their lives. They have done their own part as parents. They were just parents and not creators. If the child owes you, what do you owe God for giving it to you? Children should, however, respect their parents (Ephesians 6:2).
8. The Traumatic Perception
Some moms are with dirty past experiences that have dented their psyche, leaving them with emotional and psychological repercussions. And they try to dictate the marriage of their own children with what they went through. This is another way to see it. And it can be positively or negatively interpreted. They may try to act with all sincerity thinking that they are protecting their sons while, in fact, they are damaging the lives of the couple. A gold digger would know one, of course.
However, it is not so good to negatively influence your children’s marriages from an internally damaged position. Although she may have good intentions, she has to deal with herself, clean herself up and liberate herself from her past, first and foremost. In order to act from an objective point of view.
9. The Pampered Perception
When the son has been too pampered that he never grows up to become an independent man before marriage. He then feels okay to have the parents meddle in their marital affairs as they like, after all that’s how life has been.
10. The Golden Rule Perception
Mothers are ignorant of the fact that they were once young wives. They should follow the golden rule, to do unto others what they would like done to them. If nobody inconvenienced their marriage, they should not inconvenience the marriage of their children. If they are in an advisory capacity, they should ditch the kinds of counsel they would love to adhere to.
11. The Failed Dream Perception
Some mothers aren’t just happy with their life experiences and seek to complete their own dreams in that of their children through intervention and control over their marriage. Some parents want their children to pursue a certain career because that is what they would have become by virtue of choice. But life happened and they could not achieve that dream.
Or they willingly sacrificed their dreams to sponsor their children’s education in hope that they would achieve those parental dreams.
Consequently, they may manipulate, and control their children’s lives to conform to their aspirations. And if their sons are married, they still dictate to their son’s family just so their failed dreams may be accomplished.
12. The Family-Oriented Perception
When you marry someone who is kind and family-oriented, mothers should not be struggling to take the place of the wife and vice versa. The man should know the importance of his mother and wife and treat them accordingly. This happens in some circumstances that aren’t family oriented. An example is a son who is brought up by a single mother all his life. The mother has become what he calls family. Such a man might not know how to treat a wife or start a nuclear family.
13. The Competition Perception
Both mother and wife have their places in the husband’s life which can not be competed. There should be no competition between mother and wife as a family. They are all important in the life of the husband and wife. A balance must be made, however.
If the mother is bad, we advise and respect her and if she insists on bringing trouble to the family, we must protect the nuclear family who is in love.
14. The Not Knowing Boundary Perception
The mother’s primary responsibility is her home, not her son’s, and to the Son, the son’s primary responsibility is his home. There should be boundaries in place for each to respect. Setting boundaries and obeying them can eradicate every form of bad influence at home from the mother’s angle.
15. The Traditional Perception
This perception originates from outdated traditions where people believe the wife belongs to the entire family. They call any wife of their siblings “our wife” and even make her become the servant or house help of every family member. They can do everything with her except for having sexual intercourse with her.
16. The Visionless Perception
Some mothers are visionless because they are without purpose in life. A busy mother with goals to pursue won’t have time to meddle in the children’s marriages. That is not her business. Imagine a mother with 10 married sons who carries all the burdens of her sons on her shoulder. There’s no way that she can even survive. But the point is a mother who does that probably has no vision for herself to look forward to.
17. The Controversial Perception
Some mothers are way too controversial, controlling, and dominating even in their children’s marriage. This is also reflective of how the moms were raised. If they were raised by a single parent that acted both roles, they would imbibe such into their marriage and that of their children.
We must understand that the wife will always be a wife first before a mother. At least, that is what all mothers once were. Thus, the wife should be a good wife and not put the husband in a tight corner to choose between herself and his mother. Conversely, the husband must understand that the wife is his and his alone. He must protect her and prioritize her when it matters most.
Did you learn something new from this article? Let’s know your thoughts.
Written for Smartcouple.net, Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.
