Why am I not married? – Singleness and Relationship



Why am I not married? – Singleness and Relationship

The question “Why am I not married?” is not a gender-based one, but a question that both male and female genders ask. During the covid-19 lockdown, some singles found themselves alone at homes with no one to talk to or hold on to. And, of course, this question might have come across their minds and even lingered more than it was necessary.

Well, I wanna tell you, if you are one of those singles, that you aren’t alone with this question in mind. I even wanna go further to alleviate your lonely feeling by provoking your thinking with few points as to why you aren’t married.

Before we start, however, it’s worth reminding you that these are not all the reasons there’s to the above question, nevertheless, we have many articles on reasons people are single or unmarried or not married in life. You would do well if you peruse our category home page for titles that best answer your queries on this subject.

That being said, “Why am I not married?” is a relationship question asked by both genders and its answers applicable to males as well as females.

1. You aren’t married because it’s not your time yet

It’s worth knowing that there’s a time for everything under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to sow and a time to harvest; a time to love and a time to hate (Ecclesiastes chapter 3). This truth runs in all aspects of life, in the very core of nature. It’s a principle that has nothing to do with color, tongue, gender, or age.

In Ecclesiastes 3:8, it says there’s a time to love. In other words, there’s a time to develop, and nurture relationships. Everything has its time and we must be sensitive to know when it is the right time for something in order to migrate properly into that season. You may be single just because your time hasn’t come yet. Don’t be pushed around or pressured to marry out of season. It might fail you and be painful. Just wait for the right time. For at the right time, says the Bible, God makes everything beautiful (3:11). He makes your marriage a happy one with the right person when you wait for the right time.

2. You aren’t married because it’s not for everyone

Marriage is not for everybody, and also it’s a matter of individual choice. Some people live truly fulfilled lives without marital experience and free from all its woes and responsibilities that come with it. However, it’s not the responsibility or woes that scare them away but a matter of choice. Perhaps they are not destined to get married, like some priests, nuns, and many others. Or they just wanna avoid all the woes of sharing their lives with someone else.

Whatever you choose, make sure that you are happy with your choice. If you don’t like marriage, then you shouldn’t get married. But don’t live the life of the married while you aren’t married. If you are unhappy with marriage, you shouldn’t live like one in private or public.

3. You aren’t married because of your bad attitude

Your attitude can be the ‘WHY’ you are the way you are. Almost everyone hates a bad attitude of the mind which is reflected in the way one behaves towards life and other people as well. Whether you are a man or woman, your behavior can ruin your chances of getting married. Women hate badly behaved men and men also do not like badly behaved women to have a relationship with. Think of your character, your behavior, if it’s respectful of others or not. Are people around you feeling a bad or negative vibe coming from you or not? The Good thing about bad behavior is that it can be remedied by changing the way we behave towards others. It’s as simple as that.

4. You aren’t married because You are not yet responsible to get married either as a man or a woman

This has nothing to do with age. You can be old enough but still do not know what marriage is all about.

a) as a man looking for a woman, do you know the value of a woman ? Are you the type who objectifies women like sex toys? Maybe you are looking for women who would be twerking for you. This is what some young single men do nowadays. The men who abuse and insult their ladies aren’t exempt from the category that is clueless of the value of women. Just imagine having such men as husbands. It would be catastrophic.

b) what about the female gender, do they know the value of marriage, of husbands? Yes, I am talking about you ladies in need for husbands, do you know how to treat a husband? Do you know what marriage is all about? No, It’s not about sex. Sex or its ability doesn’t qualify you for marry. It goes deeper than that. It might just be that your inability to understand marriage is what keeps you still single.

Ask yourself if you understand the union called marriage that you desire. Can you sustain a relationship with the opposite sex in marriage free from violence and with mutual respect ? Can you undignify yourself to dignify the love of your life? They call it a sacrifice, and can you? Can you foot the bills to sustain the union even if your partner isn’t working yet ? Are you ready to love your spouse as you love yourself? Are you willing to handle your liberty without infringing upon the liberty of others?

Too many questions just for marriage, you might say. Then you aren’t really ready for it. take a moment and ponder on the above points. You never know, you might locate the “Why” you are still not married.


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About the author

A music journalist, writer, and member of a great team of Relationship Experts. Carlos also serves as the site administrator.
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You’re welcome, and thanks for being ouvert. Stay safe.


Hi there! I find this post very interesting for me. I totally agree with everything you’ve said here especially the reasons you gave. Majority won’t agree with that fact that marriage is not for everyone because they choose not to. For me I’ve learned that from this post and there’s no way I’m gonna rush my spouse again on marriage issues.

Thanks for sharing, I’ve learned a lot.


A very good point you made there. Thanks for your contribution. Please stay safe.


Hey nice article you have there. This is the best article I have seen so far, your points are invaluable. This is the question most singles are asking themselves and sometimes attribute their misfortune to some fetish belief. It is high time we face the fact to check on our self and see if we were to be the opposite sex, if we would love to have such a partner with that bad habit we refuse to put away as a soulmate.


Well, that’s seen from another angle. Thanks, Phil for sharing. Take good care of yourself.


Hello there thanks for this interesting review. It was really helpful I must say. Well If you ask me I think one of the major reasons why people especially men are not yet married is due to financial instability. However 4 out of every 10 men are afraid of taking any marital responsibility so they choose to remain single 


You’re welcome. Please stay safe.


Hello, thank so much for this post, this is exactly what I am looking for, I had a conversation with my neighbor over the phone about the relationship and all, and this question popped in as to why he is not married I told him quite a lot of things that could be the reasons which some also are mentioned in this post, I’m sharing this with him, I believe it will further help him.

thanks for sharing.


Thanks for being honest, Chim. Please stay safe.


Wow! I’ve learned a lot via this post that has changed my mindset about marriage. At first, I didn’t agree with you when you said that marriage isn’t for everyone, that made me so curious that I was actually put off but I read again that line more than twice until I understood the statement very well.

Thanks for sharing this, its super cool!


A very thought-provoking article that you have written here and one that really makes one evaluate themselves. Sometimes I look at couples I know and wonder why they ever got married in the first place. If a relationship is toxic, then perhaps it is better to be single, unmarried, and free than in an unhappy relationship.

I think the main reason people want to be married is not to be alone and not to grow old alone, but there are no guarantees in life, and anything could happen around the corner.

I don’t know about you, but I think one first has to learn to love themself and know themself well before embarking on a long term relationship?

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x