Faithfulness can be hard. It’s not just hard. It seems pretty boring. Think about the fact that once you choose a person, you have to stay committed to that person. On natural terms, it’s not ideal or even wise or “woke”. That’s why many people do things differently.
Yet, as we think about Easter, we remember the message of the Cross. Jesus chose us for Him from the beginning of the world as His bride (Eph. 1:4). We were not spotless then. Scratch that, we were not even willing or interested in His love. Yet He did not stop. He kept choosing us even when it meant a humiliating death that some of us still do not appreciate (Isa. 53:3-5).
He remained faithful to us even when we were unfaithful (Rom. 5:8). It’s not something He does. It’s who He is (Exod. 34:6; 2 Tim. 2:13). Now, I know that it’s great to explore ways that we can deal with a partner who is unfaithful—and thankfully, that may be the focus of another piece. But what about us? Are we faithful in our relationships? Do we choose faithfulness like Christ—even when it’s damn hard?
This article will explore ways we can imbibe to help us remain faithful to our partners (present or future) in a world that celebrates infidelity. It is closely woven with the Easter story to keep us anchored. I pray it speaks to you. With that said, do read on.
But before we proceed, let’s give a brief definition of faithfulness. Faithfulness simply means “loyalty, reliability, trustworthiness”. In the context of romantic relationships, it means being loyal, reliable, and worthy of trust to your partner, not only when you’re married, but even as you date and when single. It is a choice to honor God with your body, mind, and relationship in the way He intends (1 Cor. 6:15-16, 18-20; Heb. 13:4). So, as we consider the ways to be faithful, give an honest appraisal of yourself. Let us proceed.
Ways To Stay Faithful in Romantic Relationships
1. Make a Decision to Stay Committed Even When Emotions Fluctuate
Relationships are not always at an all-time high. There will be times you simply don’t feel like staying faithful. You fall “out of love”, get tired, worn out, bored, and especially when the love is not mutually reciprocated.
You know, the devil likes to take advantage of these moments of weakness to wreak havoc. But let’s remember biblical paragons like Daniel and Job. They made intentional decisions not to do wrong (Dan. 1:8; Job 31:1), and they stood by it. Let’s also remember Jesus. He didn’t “feel” like going to the cross.
But because He had decided to honor His Father, He did (Lk. 22:42). And we live because of that. Purpose in your heart to stay faithful no matter what. You could even write it, or share it with a mentor or friend to keep you accountable.
2. Anchor Your Identity in God, Not People
Why this point? We all desire to be loved, admired, attended to, valued, cherished, and secure. Most times, in our quest, we run to our significant others to fill this void. We tend to forget that they are also humans longing for these very things.
And no matter how hard they try, they cannot be everything to us. So when they fail, we feel disappointed. The mistake many of us make is that we do not run back to God to meet our needs. We run to others – sugar daddies and mommies, side-chicks, and other besties who we claim are just on the surface, but are actually replacements.
What we need to remember is that at Easter, the Cross settled everything. Our worth is in what Jesus has done. Jesus approves of us and loves us madly (Jn. 3:16, Jer. 31:3). If only you could come to this realization, you would relax and stay faithful and secure in His love for you.
3. Guard Your Heart and Set Boundaries Intentionally
Your heart is the doorway to your life (Prov. 4:23). If you let the wrong things into your heart, you will manifest the wrong things. If the conversations, friends, and media influences around you only encourage infidelity, it would not take so long for you to drift.
Guarding your heart also means intentionally taking action. For example, you may want to write a list of things you should not do, like being at the opposite sex’s house at a particular time, maintaining distance from friends who could negatively impact your relationship, avoiding late-night conversations or physical touches that will entrap you.
You may also want to watch who you share your struggles with to prevent becoming emotionally attached to the wrong people. Don’t forget that Judas didn’t abruptly decide to betray Jesus. It started slowly from an unguarded desire (Jn. 12:4-6; Matt. 26:6-16).
4. Practice Daily Consistency – Be Present and Available
I often hear that consistency is one of the idiosyncrasies of successful people. And it applies to relationships, too. People do not become faithful all of a sudden, just like people don’t decide to cheat all of a sudden.
It’s a gradual process. It starts with how you show up, keep your promises, say yes, and keep choosing the same person every single day. There’s something about consistent faithfulness. It makes you credible and builds trust. Remember Luke 16:10, which echoes in Jesus’ life. He was faithful before the Cross.
Again, many times, we forget that even though our partners are good and committed, they’re also human. If we’re not faithfully present and available emotionally, physically, spiritually, and otherwise, then we leave them prone to those who are, and who will happily take advantage.
5. Heal from Past Wounds
When you have been betrayed in a past relationship, it’s easy for you to project your pain onto the next or your present one. Besides that, if you have experienced trauma or difficulty growing up, trusting others may be hard for you.
You may also be suspicious, emotionally detached, or withdrawn from a true partner. This may lead your partner to infidelity if he or she is not careful, or even you, too. This is why you must trust God to heal you and make you whole. He came to heal the brokenhearted and bind their wounds (Ps. 34:18, 147:3; Isa. 61:1-3). By His wounds, we receive healing (Isa. 53:5). That’s something, eh?
Healing means acknowledging your hurt, but rather than being defensive, offering it to the One who restores. Remember: His hands were scarred too—by the very people He loved.
6. Communicate Honestly and Early
There are times when things don’t go well with us. We’re unhappy and dissatisfied with our partners or the relationship. However, rather than face it squarely, we become insular and resentful.
Left unchecked, we begin to consider and look for other options, especially if they offer what our partners don’t. What we have to learn is courageous honesty. Speaking the truth in love is germane (Eph. 4:15, 25). It sounds beautiful to keep silent and affirm even what does not go down well with us, but in the long run, it’s inadvisable.
Jesus spoke the truth to us in love throughout His voyage on earth. And He still speaks to us today—for therein lies our freedom (Jn. 8:32).
7. Practice Contentment
For some people, being unfaithful is tied to desiring other things that they wish to have but don’t currently have. So in a quest to have more money, possessions, or attention, they run to people who seem better off than their partners.
And because these people give them what they want, they offer their fidelity in return. Others (especially singles) have multiple partners and claim that they are a Plan B or C. But if we are to do it God’s way, then we must realize that we have to trust in God to be our provider (Jer. 17:5-8).
This means that if we have chosen, let us know that God is enough, and He will give us what or who we actually need at every point in time. We only need to surrender.
8. Depend on Grace, Not Just Willpower
The Bible tells us to take heed when we stand, lest we fall (1 Cor. 10:12). We must remember that being faithful is not just a measure of our own integrity. It stems from our wholehearted devotion to a faithful God (Deut. 7:9). There is very little we can do on our own (Rom. 9:16, Phil. 2:13).
That is why we need God’s grace and mercy, which is always available to us (Heb. 4:16). We can be disciplined, and that is encouraged, but we need to pray, meditate on God’s Word, and learn from faithful biblical heroes like Joseph, Ruth, Mary, and you, name them (Gen. 39:7-10; Ruth 1:16-17, Lk. 1:26-27).
Also looking to Jesus, the ultimate example of faithfulness, who lives in us and will always help us when we call on Him, for He understands and was tempted in every way as we are. Yet, without sin (Heb. 4:15-16, 12:2). It is possible, friend.
Finally, to be faithful is not archaic. In fact, it is one of the fruits of right living empowered by the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22). So, do you want to be faithful? Ask and depend on the Holy Spirit for help. Have you not been faithful? Now’s not too late. God still restores, redeems, and empowers. So go to Him. He is faithful, and He will help you. Stay faithful, friend!
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