The 3 Undeniable Reasons Couples Cheat, And Ways To Overcome Cheating
“The 3 Undeniable Reasons Couples Cheat, And Ways To Overcome Cheating,” comes to you as a result of a study/research conducted through our counseling ministry over the years. It has provided us the leeway to gather some common answers to the question raised by cheating on someone you once claimed you loved. We have also come to conclude that these answers could be the reasons partners cheat on each other.
However, we did just leave it at that but provided some guided solutions to what we see as abnormal in a relationship. Please, note that what we have given here isn’t final or comprehensive, since we learn daily and discover new things in the course of living life together as spouses. We hope to help aspiring lovers and established ones, as well, avoid and overcome these impediments to healthy relationships, thus making theirs stronger, reliable, and durable.
That being said, let’s get to the nub of the article. The first of the reasons that partners cheat on each other is:
1) Because They Are Not Happy In The Relationship
There’s a difference between not happy in a relationship and not happy with a relationship. The latter knows the roots of its unhappiness. But this is not the case with the former, and a rather difficult one not knowing the reason for your unhappiness in a relationship.
Some partners do say they love each other and, in the course of the relationship, they aren’t just happy with each other yet they can’t tell why or what. They feel that something is missing somewhere but don’t know what exactly. This makes them prone to any promising source that can fill in the void.
For ladies in such a situation, that proneness makes them an easy catch for any man that promises what isn’t in your current relationship, whether the man truly has it or not. Before you realize that the promise isn’t true or couldn’t make you happy or fill in the void, it’s already too late. You have cheated on your man.
The same is true to men, once you aren’t happy with your woman, you turn to look for happiness outside of the home. And any Lady who promises you such would make you her prey. You may fall for it, and before you know it, you have cheated on your lady.
Our suggested solutions to this are quite simple:
(a) Find out what exactly makes you unhappy about, in, or with a relationship. Many things can make human beings unhappy from birth to death. But what exactly is your responsibility to find out. Your spouse can also help you with that if you are honest with him or her.
(b) Be honest with your spouse and tell them what happened, and why it happened. A loving and caring spouse would want to forgive you and find ways to work out things with you.
(c) Take some time to heal, if you have to, and forgive your partner who erred. Give them some space but do assure him or her of your support and love.
(d) Take the time to communicate better with your partner. We have noticed that unhappiness is usually a lack of effective communication with your spouse. Talk often about how you feel whenever you don’t feel comfortable or good about something. Listen to your spouse whenever such communication is shared.
(e) Understand that happiness is a feeling. A feeling is an emotional expression of humans. And as a feeling, it changes. It comes and goes. It’s not permanent. You can feel so unhappy today but tomorrow you feel totally different. Consequently, you do not make a permanent decision from a protean condition. What doesn’t last can’t provide a lasting solution.
(f) Close the door to unhappiness permanently. Do your best to put to action what you have come to conclude was the cause of the unhappiness and permanently keep that door closed.
2) Because Of Sexual Negligence Of A Partner
We have also noted that some couples are cheating on each other because of the sexual experience within the relationship. One partner wants it but the other is sincerely too busy to provide for the family and neglects the fact that sex is needed at home.
Sexual need is the responsibility of both to provide to each other when needed. Negligence on the side of one partner, irrespective of how well you provide for the family, is never justified. For this may open the unwanted door for an outsider to provide for the need. And this is not right. Your partner must not go through that torture of having sexual needs provided by an outsider or an insider who isn’t the legal spouse. The Bible is against sexual negligence within marriage and cautions spouses to be considerate in that regard.
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ” (1 Corinthians 7vs 3-5).
Our advice or suggestions whenever you feel that you are being neglected sexually are:
(a) Never consider breaking faith with your spouse. Remain faithful to your partner no matter what. Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed should be undefiled.
(b) Talk to your partner about it. Be explicit here and tell them how you feel. If you recognize what is taking the time shared together, open up and say it. Chances are that your partner doesn’t even know about it. You would realize that, at times, they’re just being too busy with work or with some good stuff but at the wrong time. Some are just too sincere, but sincerely wrong too. By so doing, you are helping to resolve or prevent issues from degrading.
(c) Don’t just assume that he or she knows what to do, rather, tell them what they should do. What would you have them do to heal your sexual malady? In this case, it’s copulation! Tell them you want to bond, that you want sexual intimacy. Period!
(e) Don’t be shy or afraid of what they might think of you. Speak out! Some couples feel that if they say such a thing to their spouses, they could be looked at as having inordinate sexual desires. No, don’t be shy!! Speak out!! It’s your right!! It’s your lover and spouse!! Sex is a good thing created by God to be experienced within the bond of love in marriage. And please for the hard-working partner, do not shy away from your role. It’s your responsibility to meet your spouse’s sexual needs. And any excuse is not justified if it isn’t mutual. You wouldn’t want your partner to cheat on you just to meet that need. Would you?
3) Because One Partner Travels Alone Without The Other
This is yet another one that we have come to conclude very strongly. The point is gathered from an untold number of couples. This implies that many partners have cheated just because they traveled alone on foreign soil.
Some couples say that their peak period of cheating and sexual bouts is when they are traveling alone or on a journey. They find comfort in the arms of strangers whether tour guides, travel agents, hoteliers, housekeeping employees, bartenders, etc., just for a moment or night and without any commitment. And this point affects both married and unmarried couples as well.
Not only that but singles who aren’t even in a relationship fall prey to others they meet in the course of traveling. They might have bouts of sexual intimacy with total strangers just to pass their time on foreign soil. From hotels, inns, and cafés, they meet new and different people within a short period of time, some of which can help serve them or guide them on their stay, and some also provide emotional, psychological, and sexual support to visiting travelers. All of this is without any commitment, just for the fun of it.
We understand that this is not prostitution per se, but it’s ungodly, unholy, and unfaithful to your spouse for those who are married. It’s not proper at all, whether you are married or not, to sleep around freely because you are far away from home or from the faces that know you. It’s detestable to have to sleep with someone you just met in a hotel just for the fun of it.
You can’t be a person of class and engage in a one-night stand with relatively unknown faces or with those you wouldn’t be proud of if seen in broad daylight by those who know you. It does not matter the distance, country, or culture, always take your manners, values, and class with you wherever you travel to.
Do not be like the celebrities revered at home but cheap on foreign soil. Do not be the kind who is hard to get in a relationship but easy to take to bed. Do not cheat on your spouse just because you are traveling alone. Traveling is a temporary and not permanent experience.
So anything can always wait including your sexual needs. If you cannot do without sex, then travel with your spouse, why not? Take your spouse along and have fun as you travel. That’s why your spouse is there, of course. Do not open unnecessary doors to temptation when you have someone who can stand in the gap of your weakness.
Do not lower your standards and allow employees from Hotel management or travel agencies and tour guides to get to your pants just for the fun of it. Take your values along with you and don’t cheat on your partner.
To recap, the 3 Undeniable Reasons Couples Cheat are unhappiness, negligence, and lone traveling. You would do well if you consider the Ways To Overcome Cheating that we have stated above.