UNDENIABLE STEPS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ENDURE
“A minute, please.”
Alicia gently slid the door shut as she entered the cozy room where Kendra was seated. As she took her seat, she broke into tears and narrated her unending tale of woes to her best friend.
What could two middle-aged women possibly be discussing at that time with so many emotions attached? Yeah. You guessed right. It was her failing marriage.
Many a woman – and a man, just like Alicia have their fair share of woes in the battle called marriage. Though this is not a general statement, many marriages these days are short-lived.
However, we need more successful and lasting marriages than temporal ones. God desires to be enthroned in marriages and ‘cut short’ marriages just don’t guarantee that(1 Cor. 10:31).
By now, you must be wondering how to sustain your marriage so it endures. Don’t worry. This has got you covered. Read on:
ASK ENDURANCE ITSELF:
Have you ever realized that there’s Someone who has been and still will be throughout eternity despite the climate, earthquakes, the sun’s mighty rays, an abundance of sin, and man’s failings? I’m talking about God (Ps. 102:12, Exod. 3:14). God has the key to making a marriage endure. I mean He ordained it and is glorified by it. You just need to involve Him. Also, His Spirit lives in you (John 14:17). You’ve got the Spirit of an enduring God! Ain’t that amazing? His Word has every hack for a lasting marriage. Devote your time to studying it and living it out. Your marriage will tell the story.
LOVE LIKE YOU DO YOUR HAND:
Cut off your hand! And I mean right now!” You wouldn’t do that, would you? Not even if I offered a million dollars. As a partner, the Bible enjoins you to love your spouse as you would yourselves (Gal. 5:14, Eph. 5:28). In practicing this, you’d not insist on your own way nor will you be unsympathetic or bossy because you would not like that for yourself. You’d acknowledge that you’re wrong and seek forgiveness. You’d check up on your spouse and have their dreams, goals, and passions in your heart as though they were yours. A true loving wife will also submit to her husband (not her friends) (Eph. 5:24,33). Love truly and your marriage will last for true love itself is enduring (1 Cor. 14:4,7).
WEAR HER STILLETOS:
A marriage that lasts is one built on mutual understanding; seeing things from your partner’s viewpoint and reaching a meaningful agreement. For example, when it’s late and your wife’s not yet home, don’t just sit in the dark waiting patiently so you can land the bomb. Rather, in an understanding way, you place yourself for a moment in her shoes, find out what happened, and iron out any misunderstandings. When you understand each other, it’s easier to agree and work together. And remember, only a three-fold cord endures (Eccl. 4:12).
PLAY YOUR PART:
I once heard of a company outside town that was flourishing but soon crashed. Out of sheer curiosity, I garnered that this company although with good prospects had people who were lackadaisical about their roles. It’s no surprise it crashed. In a marriage, there are clearly defined roles expected of each partner. A husband who does not pay the bills should not marvel if his wife goes out all night to pay ’em neither should a woman who lives her home disorderly complain when she sees another lady tidying it up. God gives roles and everyone is accountable for them(Rom. 14:12). Play your part so your marriage can last.
WATCH YOUR TONGUE:
Cat got your tongue? Yes, it should, sometimes. The Bible warns us to watch our speech and not be easily angered (Jas.1:19). It’s no coincidence that anger and rash speech are in the same verse. Many issues that would have gone to the grave forever have been awakened simply because someone kept talking. Don’t talk too much or so rashly as that’ll lead to much more problems. You’ll end up making mistakes that’d end up as regrets. Let the cat get your tongue sometimes, you need it for your marriage to endure.
THEY AIN’T PERFECT:
Most partners come into marriage expecting that their partners are demigods with no mortal flaws. Eventually, they discover that they’re in for a huge surprise. Knowing that your partner is human and prone to weaknesses and mistakes gives you the ability to tolerate his/her excesses. It helps you align your partner to God’s perfect image and not pick on his/her flaws (Gal.6:2, Col.3:10). This way, the marriage endures.
JUST TALK – ALWAYS:
In my years of building relationships, I’ve learnt that communication is key. If you want to switch jobs, let her know. If you want another baby, let him know. Find out how their day went. Just have in mind that he/she’s your best friend and you would love to keep your relationship aflame. Make your partner feel fully involved, ask them how they feel, and allow them to speak their minds. It leads to a lasting relationship.
NO BABY MAMAS OR PAPAS:
Having extramarital relationships is not a good option if you desire a lasting marriage. Nothing is as provoking and ‘strife loving’ as envy. God Himself is angered when you serve others apart from Him (Exod. 20:8). And blessing a marriage where He is not enthroned in would be far from Him (1 Cor. 3:17). You may think, ‘Well, I’m the world’s smartest infidel. But know that nemesis would surely catch up with you. If it fails to, hell won’t.
Having a lasting marriage is not just possible but enjoyable. However, both partners must be committed to building the marriage with the right enduring materials.
Follow these steps and with God’s help, your marriage will stand the test of time.
Now, which step will you promise me to work on?
I hope it was worthwhile and thanks for reading.
God bless you.